Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18:21-35 NRSV)
Forgiveness is a valuable gift. A simple trip to the store or an unwelcome visit from a difficult relative can push us into uncomfortable moments where we might think or even say something unkind. On the other hand, we might also find ourselves on the receiving end of such feelings. Jesus never claimed that forgiving others—or being forgiven—would be easy. Life presents challenges, and it’s important to recognise that. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
So, what is Matthew attempting to convey to us in this passage (18:21-35)?
We read that Peter came and said to Jesus, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times.”
There’s a most human thing about Peter’s question. Peter has come to realise the importance of forgiveness. He has come to realise that the disciples of Jesus cannot follow the normal rules of honour and retaliation typical in the Greco-Roman world—the rule that if you hurt me I will hurt you, and that if you offend me I will reject you.
Peter agrees to be generous by forgiving seven times; he may have hoped that Jesus would praise him, but Jesus replies, “Cease counting.”
It makes no difference whether we render Jesus’ words as “seventy-seven times” or as the conventional “seventy times seven”; the message is the same. Just as love is concerned, so too forgiveness cannot be measured by arithmetic.
As Tom Wright puts it memorably, “When you are still counting how many times you have forgiven somebody, you are not actually forgiving them but merely putting off revenge.” This statement comes very near to capturing the essence of Jesus’ teaching. If I keep a careful account of it, I might not have forgiven at all; I might just be holding on to my resentment until I think it is acceptable to let it go.
The entire of chapter eighteen in Matthew is not merely a set of instructions for private spirituality; it concerns living together as disciples. Jesus talks about humility, about looking after the little ones, about searching for the one sheep that has gone astray. He addresses what to do when a member of the community has sinned. Jeus speaks on the need for agreement when praying and offers the beautiful assurance that whenever two or three come together in his name, he is there with them. Then Peter asks about forgiveness. All of these points are related.
The Church must become the kind of community Jesus is teaching us, and this matters because Christian community is not always easy. The Church consists not of perfect individuals but of sinners learning to live by grace.
Misunderstandings will arise whenever people live together, and people will let us down. Inconsiderate things will be said, and promises will be broken. People will sometimes act selfishly, thoughtlessly, or foolishly. In some cases, the injury will be much more serious. Jesus understands us; that is why, earlier in the chapter, he gives his disciples a way to deal with wrongdoing. If someone has sinned against you, you should go and talk to them. If they refuse to listen, involve other people.
To forgive does not involve pretending that nothing had occurred; it also doesn’t imply that the wrongfulness of an action is insignificant. It does not stop us from setting proper boundaries, pursuing justice, safeguarding the vulnerable, or asking the other person to repent.
Christian forgiveness takes sin seriously, but it does not let sin have the last say, and this is essential for the Church to remain a community.
Without forgiveness, we cannot correct the wayward in love, because correction becomes condemnation. Without forgiveness, we cannot pray as a united people, because resentment divides the community’s heart. Without forgiveness, we cannot genuinely experience Christ among us, since we are not extending to one another the grace by which we ourselves stand before God.
Jesus makes this point using the parable of the unforgiving servant. The servant owed his king ten thousand talents and asked for more time. Since no ordinary servant could possibly pay the sum, it was an impossible amount. Yet the king did something remarkable; he did not simply allow the servant more time but cancelled the debt altogether. The servant then went away with nothing to pay.
Then that same servant encounters a second servant who owes him one hundred denarii — a debt which is true enough, but small when compared with the one which he has just had forgiven. He grabs him by the throat and says, “Pay what you owe.” The other servant then falls to his knees and asks, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.”
The words are nearly identical to those the first servant used when speaking to the king; however, a clear contrast exists because the first servant received mercy, whereas in this case, he refuses to offer it. Possibly, Jesus’s main message is that God’s mercy towards us exceeds the debt we are expected to forgive.
Tom Wright expresses this beautifully: “Every time you accuse someone else, you accuse yourself. Every time you forgive someone else, though, you pass on a drop of water out of the bucketful that God has already given you.”
Christian forgiveness begins with God’s grace, not with what we do ourselves. We forgive since God has forgiven us. We show mercy because we ourselves live in mercy. We bestow grace because it has already been given upon us.
That is why forgiveness goes beyond personal virtue; it forms one of the basic supports of the Christian community.
When preparing his Rule for communal life, Saint Benedict realised the importance of this aspect, knowing that Christian communities depend on patience, humility and reconciliation. To provide a practical approach, he told the monks to “make peace with an adversary before the sun goes down”, giving an example of how Christianity should be put into practice. One should prevent resentment from taking root; it is necessary not to dwell on injuries, avoid rehashing conflicts, or keep a record of wrongs. Resentment can change us over time; even if a wrong was done just yesterday, continually remembering it, going over it, and nurturing it can let past injuries affect our current situation. To break this cycle, we must forgive, and sometimes we must repeat that forgiveness.
We could genuinely forgive a person today and yet discover that the pain returns the next day; in that case, we forgive once more. This is not because the offence was small, but because we choose not to let it determine our relationship with that person.
The community Jesus describes in Matthew eighteen is one in which the lost sheep is carefully looked for; wrongdoings are acknowledged frankly, and the person who has sinned is restored rather than rejected. The community is united in prayer, and Christ is with them. Forgiveness is given freely without keeping account of offences.
Such a community could only exist because of God’s mercy. Perhaps that is the fundamental question this chapter in Matthew leads us to think about. It is not a matter of deciding who I think deserves my forgiveness; it is about realising the great extent of the forgiveness which I have already received.
© Robert van Oort 2026
